A reader emailed me with a link to the famous Mormon Scale of Attractiveness. Many of you will have seen this post before, but it's worth a re-read. So go read it and come back!
I can't really touch such a perfect post. But I will add this—the longer a Mormon guy stays single, the further up he moves on the scale.
Illustration.
Sometime last year I ran into a guy that I knew from my ward at BYU. I hadn't known him very well at BYU, but we did go out a couple times. On the Regular People Attractiveness Scale, he was probably about a 5. Therefore, based on the amount of female attention he got—which wasn't a ton, but definitely more than average, he was clearly around a 7 on the Mormon People Scale. I remember feeling almost guilty for not being that attracted to him. But alas, I was not. And as you all know, I don't believe in forcing it. Our relationship never got off the ground.
So, back to last year. This guy was visiting from a nearby city for the weekend and I ran into him at a party. Not surprisingly, he had girls gathered around him the entire evening. However, this was more than just the new-meat syndrome whereby, at any given gathering, the new meat will get an extra dose of attention. This is to be expected.
But no. This guy was getting the unwavering attention of the most beautiful girls at the party who had turned up their game full-notch. (Ie. They were shamelessly throwing themselves at him.)
Conclusion.
In the past 5 years or so, this "Mormon 7" had clearly jumped to what I will call an "Older Mormon 9."
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but there were a few moments at the party where I felt like maybe I should spend more time getting re-acquainted with him. After all, he had liked me at BYU. Surely he would still find me attractive and interesting. Thankfully those thoughts only lasted a few minutes. Then I remembered, oh yeah, I'm still not attracted to him!
So, thanks to the Older Mormon Scale of Attractiveness, an average-looking, normal Mormon guy can reasonably expect to be a 9 or 10 by the time he hits 30.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
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10 comments:
Agreed - until he hits the untouchable 35 and becomes a creepy perv hitting on 18 year olds when he should be hitting on their moms. Then again, it may only be the 30+ women who find that creepy; the younger ones are flattered that he thinks they're mature. And maybe the older ones are feeling bitter because he's their age but he isn't hitting on them, leading them to label him a creep. Hmmm.
Does that mean a Regular 1 or 2 has a chance to become a Mormon 5 or 6? I'll take that.
Got to agree with the first comment, after 35 (or 40, if you are in the city), the guy drops from an older mormon 9 (he should really tap it while he has the chance) to a creepy old man 3. Some girls will still dig him, but most everyone will just assume that there is something wrong with him (whether or not that is the case). The scale is completely different for divorced guys- an attractive 7 who is divorced at 25 is about a 3, but a divorced 35 passes up the always-single 35 year olds. I think it is because they've had sex.
Oh the things we allow to sway us with this scale of attractiveness.
Good point, S. I didn't even think to address what happens when the guy reaches his upper 30s/40.
I should also emphasize how much having it together/being normal plays into the Older Mormon 9. The guy from my story was educated with a good job. Had he been living in his parents' basement/playing video games all day/been otherwise socially retarded, he would've gone from a Regular People 5 to a Weird Mormon 3. At best. :)
Allow me to present a theoretical case study:
Age: 35
Divorced
5 kids
$65,000 / year salary
Where does this case land on the scale?
That I am personally acquainted with the framer of the Mormon Scale of Attractiveness presented on the blog adds a world of color and undertone to my approach to the phenomenon.
Without going into it at all, I agree with something that One of a dozen moves towards, a question of age. What happens between the time mr. scale place 3 is age 25 and then age 35? (Hopefully) He gets an education, a salary, AND he by this point should have a profession. He goes up because he is no longer the risky good looking guy who might flake out and who you might end up supporting for the rest of your life. His value goes up because during that time he has in the best situation gained a career, and in the process, a lot of confidence.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
What about a 31 yo divorced emergency medicine physician with 3 kids? Would any LDS women still be interested?
I, of course, a newcomer to this blog, but the author does not agree
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Speed Dating
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