Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Single Shower

Ultimately, by the time I die, I hope I have given far more than I have received.

But honestly. Showers and receptions are getting out of control.

I'm a nearly-30 single Mormon girl who has had—as you can imagine—many other single Mormon friends get married since I officially became a “YSA” at 18.

This means I have bought A LOT of bridal/wedding gifts in the past 12 years or so.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for my girls on their important occasions. I support them, I'm there for them. I know that if someday I have an “important occasion,” they'll be there for me, too.

But there comes a point when I just wanna shout out, “Hey, is it my turn yet?!?”

I'm not even talking about getting married here. I'm talking about PRESENTS!!!

This initially occurred to me last year when I purchased my first home. For the first time in my life I would be moving into a place without at least some furnishings and would be living without roommates.

I had no idea how much random STUFF I didn't personally own. Decent silverware. A kitchen trash can. A broom. A vacuum. A blender. A TOASTER.

As all these little items started adding up in a hurry, I realized:

If I were getting married, I wouldn't have had to buy ANY of this stuff!

I mean, what married couple has to buy their own toaster? They usually get at least 3 at the reception. Oh, the shame of having to buy my own toaster.

I think there should be some sort of landmark occasion for single people that merits them a shower. It may be a different occasion for each person. For some it may be the attainment of an advanced degree. For others it may be the acquisition of a dream job or a significant promotion. For others it may be a first home purchase.

Whatever it is, we need to be showered, too!

Like I said, I know it's better to give than to receive. Our balance should definitely be on the giving side. However, there is something way off balance when I've bought probably between 40-50 bridal/wedding gifts in my lifetime and somehow ended up buying my own toaster.

No single girl over 25 should have to buy her own toaster. Let's start a revolution, people.

13 comments:

Angela said...

i was seriously thinking about this today as I spent way too much money in the baby section - apparently i know a LOT of pregnant people this year. I've been saying for years that we should be able to register for birthdays and other special occasions! what gives?! I was JUST thinking today I hope that someday... what i've sent around will come back around to me in the form of gift registries fulfilled! right on sista!

Anonymous said...

I had a house warming party and got a ton of stuff. The married ppl can re-gift some of the double or triple presents they received. ;);)
CC

Brossettelewis said...

Have a non-wedding reception slash house warming party...and allow all these people that have a "wedding gift closet" set you up!I'd totally get you one of my extra toasters!

Smart Helm said...

I know I'm posting on an old post, but I just had to comment.

I've told EVERYONE I know that I'm having a reception when I turn 42. My sister said I should have an open house, but that wouldn't clearly say "Bring Presents" like a reception. I will get a beautiful dress, we will all go do a session at the temple...Then I will have a reception.

Why did I pick 42? Its the answer to life, universe, and everthing. :-)

Unknown said...

They should have thrown you a house warming party and given gifts!!! Tacky, tacky.

Anonymous said...

I'd never thought of this before, but I agree. There should be some kind of shower for the singles important life steps!

Mollie said...

Agreed! And I've certainly thought about it before.

Courtney said...

Amen!

This post totally reminded me of the "Sex and the City" episode called "A Woman's Right to Shoes."

Seriously, single people get the shaft when it comes to getting any type of a gift outside of birthdays.

You can count me in on that revolution.

alex dumas said...

I call it my Consolation Shower.
http://quandaryuncensored.blogspot.com/2009/01/plans-and-wishes.html

Stacy said...

I definitely agree! I recently had a similar experience and had those exact same thoughts. If/When I finally get married, I am already going to have everything!

Jules AF said...

Or what about all the people you bought presents for in all those years who will never buy you any? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE buying wedding presents because I want to celebrate with the couple, but it depresses me when I think of how much money I've spent on others when I was so poor and in school myself.

Taren said...

oh my lands, i was just talking about this the other day. i have no kitchen anything because i refuse to buy it myself. and yet, i know someday i will have to break down and buy myself some pots and pans. not fair, marrieds. not fair! i may have to join the revolution and blog a link to you. people need to know!

Anonymous said...

I've been saying this for years! I'm 42 and spent most of my life using other people's hand-me-downs, then buying things for myself as my salary increased.

When you think about it, today many couples are double income, yet other people buy them things for getting married, while singles (who have only one income) have to buy their own stuff. This made sense back in the day when women didn't work outside the home and were often mothers within a year or two of marriage. Now though many newlywed women have their own salaries and postpone motherhood for a while. Yet the singles suffer. It's just not in balance.