. . .with someone who nearly bored you to tears on your first outing?
“No, dear blogress, why would you?”
Well, what if he's really cute? And has his life together?
One part of me says:
Why waste another Saturday evening being bored when you know you could find something else to do that's guaranteed fun?
The other part says:
Another date doesn't mean you have to marry the guy. Just take advantage of the opportunity to get to know someone better.
Clearly I think about this kind of thing way too much. :)
Saturday, April 25, 2009
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6 comments:
Maybe he was bored too and won't ask you out again (one can only wish). I think even in that case the three date rule applies (unless he is creepy), because maybe first date he had a bad day, first date gitters, etc, and only warms up once he knows someone. By the third date, he will have either warmed up and grown on you, or he will have bored you so badly that you will not feel guilty for breaking his heart.
One thing that I've done on boring dates that make them more interesting by asking the most absurd, slightly personal questions. Nothing to lose since you don't like him anyway, and he might surprise you with his answers.
The same guy actually inspired these last 2 posts--he asked my voicemail out on a second date. :)
Thanks for the suggestion about absurd questions. I may just have to bust that out.
So many girls are so critical of the guys who ask them out. Maybe there's a reason you people are still single... no guy will ever be good enough for you unless he looks like Matt Damon and makes a six-figure salary.
Hey Mike,
Of course there are reasons I'm still single--enough to write an entire blog about it! ;) No hiding that!
As for some of us being critical, of course. But not about the things you mentioned. This guy was lame because he was boring. I don't expect guys to be entertaining and exciting at every turn. Far from it. But I hardly think it's "too critical" to choose not to date someone because they can't hold up their end of the conversation or have nothing interesting to say about anything. I'm sure this guy will be great for someone, but not for me.
As for the "Matt Damon looks," like most girls I am willing to overlook a lot in the looks category if the personality makes up for it. That said, there does need to be at least some level of attraction or else we will end up just being friends.
And, probably shouldn't say this on my blog, but I'm anonymous and don't care. The "six-figure salary" thing isn't an issue for me. I make six figures myself. I don't need a provider. I need someone to love who loves me in return. :)
Whyimstillsingle (since you are anonymous, I clearly can’t use your actual name)-
I respect your response, although I can’t say I agree with it. My first comment was meant to communicate that many girls have unreasonably high expectations of men; I didn’t mean to suggest that all girls look for is physical attraction and income.
You’re right, the guys I know who get all the girls are the ones who are incredibly fun and witty and somehow manage to say all the right things at all the right times (but unfortunately the same guys aren’t always responsible, or respectful of women for that matter). I once had a girl tell me that the girls she knows expect guys to be just as witty and smooth as all the picture-perfect guys they see in chick flicks. For girls to expect that of guys is no different than guys expecting girls to look like the women in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Unfortunately many people (both girls and guys) hold those impossible expectations.
Although I appreciate you sharing your income with me, I don’t feel it’s relevant to this conversation. What is relevant is how a girl treats a guy who puts a lot of time, effort, money, and emotional investment into taking her out and trying to have a good time. I’ve been on hundreds of dates with girls where I made every effort to open doors for them, be respectful, plan fun things to do, try to by fun and interesting to talk to, etc. etc. etc., only to find out that they were very critical of me when talking with their friends later. Seeing that kind of criticism on a blog makes me sick to my stomach; thus the impassioned comment I originally posted.
Hopefully this helps explain my point of view, and I sincerely wish you the best in finding a guy who’s a good fit for you.
-Mike
Mike,
I took your original comment at face value so thanks for the clarification. You mentioned looks and salary so I wanted to defend myself in that regard. (Hence why I felt a mention of income was in fact relevant--something I would not have done in real life, though, for obvious reasons.) I pretty much agree with your second comment, though. A lot of people--both genders--have unrealistic expectations. Am I too unrealistic in my own expectations? Possibly. Which is why I enjoy feedback. I realize that when I blog about my dating life for the world to see, people may choose to disagree with my choices. I do, however, appreciate people who can disagree respectfully so thank you. :)
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