You hear it all the time—both inside and outside the mo-community. Women get frustrated with the fact that so many men prefer the younger ladies.
A lot of reasons have been given for this phenomenon. Some men find younger women:
-more attractive
-more energetic
-more free-spirited
-more baggage-free
-more mold-able
The list probably goes on. And I'm not really here to support or refute these ideas. I'm just throwing them out there.
What I do wanna say is this: I think I can kinda see where men are coming from with that last one. Please don't misunderstand here. The only time I've ever been a cougar was when I was at a BYU football game.
But last year I was pursued by a guy more than 5 years younger than me. He was a great guy. Had I been even just a few years younger, I probably would've went for it.
But I just felt that we were at such different places in our lives. He was still working on his undergrad, partying it up with roommates, and trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. I've got a Master's, a career, my own home, and am exactly on the path I want to be on.
So here's why I kinda get it. This path I'm on is pretty dang specific. Basically, I don't have the kind of career that I can just pack up and move to any part of the country where my Hypothetical Husband gets a job. And the path I'm on will continue to take me overseas. In the future my time overseas will likely be more long term.
A lot of guys my age are in a similar position as me—they're also established in their careers and can't just pack up and move overseas or wherever else their Hypothetical Wife's career may take her.
Now do you see the temptation? A younger guy who doesn't quite know what he wants yet could mold to ME! A win win, right? I get to keep my great career AND have someone special to share my life with. I can see why a guy would want this in a girl. Why shouldn't I want it in a guy?
Except. This guy in question? He was barely old enough to go to stake dances when I left on my mission.
Just can't do it.
Monday, May 11, 2009
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PS I just realized that my blog is a month old today! :) Thanks for reading/commenting!
you should date younger men DO IT
I am engaged to a man 5 years younger than me and it has been just great!
It is true that I have had a lot of influence on him, but he is still a man in our relationship (not a boy :-). To be honest...in most ways dating him has not been a whole lot different than the men I have dated 10 years older than him.
I once told him how I wanted to grow and have experiences on my own before I was married.I was concerned he hadn't as much of a chance to do that. He told me he wanted to grow and change too, but he wanted to do so with his wife. Can't say fairer than that.
I think you should give the younger men a chance! I didn't date him BC he was younger, we just clicked and finding someone you really connect with doesn't happen that often.
And you made a good point-a few years ago there was no way I would have given a guy even just a little younger than me a chance. But, as you get older, you just realize age isn't that big of a deal.
Yes, I wouldn't rule them out altogether. ;)
i had a similar experience; went out with a guy who turned 16 and began dating when i was going through my divorce. that was a paradigm shift!
I kept paying close attention to women younger than me because I thought I was supposed to. Luckily a few friends around me were smarter than that. I had one friend who had just gotten back from his mission and was dating a 26-year-old. Then another just a year younger than me proposed to his 29-year-old girlfriend. I've been interested in someone who moved into our ward for an internship but put it off because she was 4 years older than me. Things are hard now because we're both working on our PhD's and she's defending very soon so it's a hectic time for her, but I'm willing to pursue her for her, the person I'm attracted to and not let a few years get in the way before she's gone.
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