I am not the type to rush into a physical relationship. I prefer to save physical affection until there is some commitment.
A lot of mo-girls I know are the same way. (And a lot are not, but that's another story. . . .) I'm pretty good at avoiding situations that could turn into a hook up. Plus it's usually pretty easy to pick out the guys that are only interested in a fling.
But sometimes we still let this happen. I think for me it's mostly been when I was upset about another guy.
I thought I'd be proud to say that I resisted my most recent opportunity for a hook up last year at Duck Beach. (Don't know about Duck Beach? Imagine hundreds and hundreds of YSA's staying at beach houses for Memorial Day weekend on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.) But I can't be too proud because the truth is I spent my few days with this guy leading him on, then conveniently sneaking away when there was an opportunity to take it to the next level. On the last night I actually overheard him complain to one of his buddies about how he hadn't succeeded.
I was disgusted with him for just wanting one thing, but even more upset at myself because I knew from the beginning that that's what he wanted. I was proud of myself for denying him his object, but mad at myself that I had been involved in the game to begin with.
Back to my original point—I do believe that physical affection and commitment should go together—at least for me. Rushing into physical relationships can cause me to think I like the person more than I actually do. And that just can't end well.
Duck Beach is next weekend and I'm going to try harder to avoid those boys. I wonder—will I be seeing any of you there? ;)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
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2 comments:
ha! enjoy duck beach, i will be staying as far away as possible! i don't think i'm brave enough for duck beach, although i have friends going. I fully support you walking away and avoiding the make-out if that is what he expected without any commitment! But it can be so hard to do, and boys are good at the guilt trip.
I wish i were better at avoiding the random hook-up, but all too often, I find myself too entangled in a situation to avoid kissing, and end up regretting it. I've found that those relationships don't work out so well.
Good question that you raise though, how do you walk that fine line of enjoying a good flirtation but avoiding the make-out until there is some commitment?
Haha. I resisted Duck Beach for a long time, but finally I gave in last year because I really love the beach and figured it wouldn't be too hard to avoid all the big meat market parties if I wanted to.
I actually was able to stay away from a lot of the big events which, I think, made the experience a lot more enjoyable.
As for that fine line you mention, if you figure out the secret, please let me know! Too many times I've seen girls go for the make-out too quickly and basically lose any chance of having a real relationship with the guy.
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