Hide and Seek

by A

First off, I feel like I need to defend myself just a little bit - I merely posted my impressions about SS on her blog after our meeting, because I felt it was pertinent for people to know that this woman is not some kind of mess that could never get a date/boyfriend/husband whatever. Seemed like people might want to know a little more about her, and well my impressions were very good - not only of her looks (which I'll talk more about in general in a bit) but of her overall attractiveness (personality, intelligence, sense of humor, etc.) That's the last you'll hear from me on that topic, but I thought it only fair to mention, because I think I got a bit of a bad rap on that one :-)

So, on to Hide and Seek. Hide and Seek Girl (HSG) is an extremely physically-attractive woman. I mention that first because, like it or not ladies, men are visual creatures. The first indication of attraction is almost always physical for us. I don't date a woman I'm not physically attracted to, it doesn't matter how intelligent or witty or sweet she is. I know you'll all hate that, I know it seems shallow, but really, who wants to spend eternity with someone they don't like looking at? BUT, physical attraction is NOT the only thing for me - not even close. If a very hot woman can't carry her end of a conversation on even the simplest of subjects - it's not happening with me! (and I've broken up with a couple of girls over this, so I'm not just blowing smoke up your collective skirts). I also, don't need a woman to be a model, physically. I would prove it to you with pictures, but of course that wouldn't work too well on an anonymous blog.

Anyway, a while back I met this woman. Frankly, I thought she was probably out of my league, based on her looks - she is model-quality, no doubt! She is stunningly beautiful. I went and talked to her anyway, as I'm not afraid to talk to new people, not even attractive women. It seemed that we hit it off really well. She's a very nice woman, a great mom, college educated, active in a lot of causes, has a great job, and is a generally well-rounded individual. I liked her - there was a lot to like. So, I asked her out and we went to lunch. I think lunch dates are the best choice for first dates just to make sure you want to really spend any time together. Dinner dates seem more formal, though I know they don't have to be, it just kind of seems that way to me. The lunch went well, we talked the whole time, had some good food, and made plans to see each other again. I was pretty happy about it all.

When it came time for our second date...she canceled. I hadn't had this happen in quite some time, but she had a seemingly acceptable excuse, so it's all good, and she said she'd make it up to me soon. In an attempt to secure a second date, I would call her every now and again, text her sometimes, and at times she was responsive and others she wasn't (thus the nickname for her) but I don't like to put too much pressure on women to go out with me; if they want to they will, if they don't they won't and I'm fine either way. So, I asked her out again but we never seemed to get the timing right. We ran into each other a couple of times and we always had plenty to talk about and it seemed like we were pretty connected, I thought. This kind of sounds like this was going on over a very long timeframe, but really it was like a month, maybe 5-6 weeks, something like that.

Anyway, skipping forward, we were supposed to hang out one night and again she had something else come up. This time, the red flags were waving at full mast, and I was pretty over it given the hot and cold calling and texting activity from her. I decided to try one more text just to see what response I would get. I got a response and it was VERY strange. I don't want to post the content, because for all I know she reads this blog and would immediately recognize it...or maybe not - because I'm 100% convinced it wasn't her replying. It was one of her friends messing with me for sure. I played along for a bit and then called her on it, at which point the texts stopped. I replied one more time with a :-) and that was it! Nothing more from her in over a week.

This episode reminded me of a question one of SS's readers posed a while back about how do you know when the chase game is over (or non-existant) and the other person just isn't interested. I honestly don't know. It felt like I gave HSG too many chances, and I don't think she was ever interested anyway, just being "nice". So, I asked a girl that I trust what she thought about how many attempts without a date is a sure sign of disinterest from a woman. She said 3. 3 attempts from a guy with no date is a certain indicator that the woman is not interested. Let's just say I went over that with HSG in a 5-6 week period. Lesson learned? I guess so, though I don't normally believe in hard and fast rules about contacting a woman for a date, or between dates, or whatever. Still, I think the 3 strikes rule is a good one. Any more than that and I think it starts to look and feel a little desperate.

So, HSG goes the way of the vast majority of women I date...or try to date as the case may be. Too bad, we would have had gorgeous children.