by SS
I couldn't decide whether or not to blog about this, but after reading Jake's birthday post, I figured why not.
Do people ever say something to you that makes you completely reanalyze a past situation? Yeah, I know. I analyze too much. It's what I do.
A few weeks ago I met a guy and his brother who were here visiting a friend. Since I also happened to be close to this friend, I ended up seeing these guys a few times during their week-long stay.
One night the four of us get to talking about our missions. At one point one of the guys says to me, “Hey, I bet you were the trophy sister in your mission, huh?”
I don't respond for at least a full 10 seconds. “The what?”
“You know, the trophy sister. Like the one that all the elders wanna get with after the mission.”
I am still speechless. This is a completely new concept to me.
He goes on. “Seriously, how many elders from your mission tried to date you when you got home?”
I manage an awkward laugh. “I don't wanna talk about this.”
I'm having a hard time putting my finger on why this silenced me like that. I mean, the guy didn't mean any harm by it. I realize he only meant it as a compliment. And, judging by how he had been flirting with me since he got there, he was probably hoping for an out-of-town NCMO. But whatever.
Here's the thing. Names of elders from my mission start running through my mind. For the first time it hits me. I had ended up dating a couple elders from my mission and turning down more than just a couple others. I know, I know. How can it just hit me that this was the case when I've already been home for several years?
See, none of them (well, okay, except maybe one) were elders that I had served with directly. I had met them on the mission at zone conferences, but was never actually in the same city with them. Therefore I didn't really associate them with the mission that much. They were just guys at my school who had happened to live in the same beautiful country and speak the same beautiful language as me.
I now remember how the AP/my first post-mission boyfriend had acted when he took me to our first mission reunion. He was especially clingy that night. At the time I remember thinking, aw, this is cute—he's totally trying to show off that he has a girlfriend already. But now I think—wait, was I just a trophy in some stupid guy game?
I felt kinda weird about it the rest of the evening. I guess I'm just naïve, but I thought girls were safe from this sorta thing on the mission. That was one thing I actually loved about my mission—having lots of great guy friends that weren't only interested in taking it to the next level. I mean, if there's only one place where a girl can be valued for who she is on the inside, shouldn't it be while she's devoting all day, everyday to service?
I guess I'm sorta just wondering, was this guy just being overly flirty? Or do guys really have a "trophy" girl for every occasion?
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7 comments:
Well, on my mission, the elders would occasionally sit around and talk about who the best looking sister missionaries were in the mission. We were still guys after all. I was never particularly attracted to any of them, but it did happen. And some of the elders who were more philosophical about it realized that the supposed "hot" sisters weren't really all that - it was just a matter of not being allowed to be with the opposite sex for so long that was throwing off their rating scale.
I've never heard the term "trophy sister" though.
There was one sister in my mission that was particularly attractive, but I don't know of anyone calling her a trophy sister.
As for your post-mission BF, he was probably clingy because he knew what a lot of the other Elders had been talking about on the mish, and he didn't want any of them trying to snag you. If you had just been a trophy for a game, I don't think he would have cared - just that everyone saw you with him. Just a guess.
Hm, how would that be? None of the elders from my mission ever contacted me afterwards... Guess I wasn't trophy material. :)
Yeah, that's kind of sick to think about. I teach high school and one of the girls asked, "Do you want to know the stuff the guys say about you?" And I responded, "NOOOO @#$@#$#@$!" I feel like school is like the mission-I don't want to think about my relationships with students tainted by that.
Nate, I guess it's good that you had no particularly attractive sisters in your mission to distract you. :)
And just to clarify to everyone, even if there had been a "trophy sister" in my mission, I was definitely not her. There was an uncanny number of beautiful sisters in my mission. Like model-esque gorgeous. I had nothing on them.
"Model-esque gorgeous?" Let me guess, you went to a mission with a Visitor's Center. I've talked with many sister RMs who purposely sent a less-than-flattering picture in with their mission papers because they didn't want to end up at Temple Square or some other mission where they would be working a VC. So I know I'm not the only one that thinks that attractive sisters are more likely to go somewhere with a VC (Temple Square being a likely destination).
Nope, I served abroad. No VC in sight.
I once heard an elder joke that the country we were in was too obsessed with appearances and that the Church had to send good looking sisters or they wouldn't be listened to. :) That's ridiculous, of course, but funny in its ridiculousness.
Also, there weren't that many sisters in my mission to begin with so I'm talking about a high proportion of gorgeous sisters and not necessarily a high number itself.
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