by SS
I'm running off to someplace warmer for the next several days and don't know if I'll be blogging for the next week or so. I wanted to leave you with a little something to think about while you're enjoying your turkey.
A commenter on this post mentioned that she's frustrated because guys only ever seem to notice how smart she is. Most of them don't take the time to notice any another facet of who she is. The commenter also noted that she has a friend who only seems to get noticed for her attractive physical appearance. This friend is equally frustrated because guys never seem to notice anything else about her.
So here's my question: what do you wish the opposite sex would notice about you? For the marrieds, what unique things did your spouse notice about you that really made a difference?
I'll post my answer, too, but probably not till next week sometime.
In the meantime, enjoy your holiday!
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8 comments:
Well, for me, I hope they notice that I am a tad shy and take note of it. Meaning that they act on it and are a little more social as I strive to be more social.
I was curious so I asked my husband and he said, "Your body shape & how you carry yourself, then your eyes, then when I got to know you, your kindness." That's ok with me. After all, you see someone physically before you talk with them. The things I think I would most want to be seen is my patience and sense of humor. I have to be able to laugh with someone. If I can't, that's a deal-breaker for sure.
There wasn't just one thing. The thing I loved is that my husband loved me. All of me. He wasn't trying to change me into what he really wanted. He didn't just love my looks, or my some specific attribute he seemed to love me. Unconditionally. I never felt not good enough in some aspect. He made me feel beautiful and fun and smart. I hated it when friends or other guys I dated in the past would try to influence me to be different. Whether it was to be more social, dress or look different, or act differently. I would always start to resent them no matter what their intentions. To unconditionally accept me, despite all my quirks is what I needed, and I am happy I that is what I ended up with.
Shelby Here!
Mechanica very profound. I appreciate your comments. I think that is what I need to.
I was almost married once to someone that didnt like me for who I was. She liked how I treated her. She liked how I was romantic but she made me feel I wasnt good enough in other things. All and all I am glad she broke it off but at the time I was heart broken.
I too get frustrated when I tell people my major and they lump me with the "smart people". Yes, I'm smart, I get it. Thanks.
I wish guys would notice pretty much anything else besides my brain. Or, if they're determined to draw me out intellectually, talk about things besides science. I like art, history, music, and philosophy too. And motorcycles, roller coasters, sand castles, cooking, hiking, exploring, and learning.
I have many interests, and I wish for once, someone would look farther than my publications and GPA.
Maybe I'll start telling guys my major is photography.
I'm glad my wife noticed that I was more than a single category. Usually when I was looking, the girl would always compliment me on my brains, occasionally on my looks, how I treated her, my sense of humor, etc. But the women I fell the hardest for were the ones (like my wife) that didn't really categorize me at all. I was just me, and that was great with them. Sure, my wife compliments me on a bunch of things, but it's the idea of being someone's complete package that is most appealing.
When we were dating, she insisted that I compliment her for things other than her looks (she's gorgeous, so she must have been complimented on that too frequently). Now that we're married, she insists I tell her regularly that she's beautiful. Now I guess I am allowed to notice or something... ;-)
I like when a guy notices how passionate I am. I love when they can see more than a pretty face and big booty and actually see what I live for and who I am. I want them to notice how different I am than other girls and even if a prettier girl comes along I am better! (hehe)
This is a co-comment. We have small children so this is our date tonight.
Jenni: My first impression of Chas was a huge one to me. I didn't notice his looks (Chas: Thank heavens!), but I noticed how kind he was. He was guiding a blind friend around, I was SO impressed that he was willing to sacrifice some of his freedom to help his friend out.
Chas: Gosh, if I'd known having him around impressed the girls, I would have dragged him around everywhere! There were quite a few things I noticed about Jenni. One thing that amazed me was that after we broke up for a time, she wasn't all weird and awkward around me like every other girl I'd broken up with. She still treated me awesome (not that I'm advocating a "just friends" approach). It just impressed me that she was still confident and comfortable around me. That gave me the courage to come back later.
- Jenni and Chas
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